So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
