I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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