I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
