Sry I called you an 8
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
