we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
