What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
