Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
