Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
