i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
