HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize