i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
