oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
