When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
