super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
