He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize