his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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