Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
