Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You took a bar mat shot.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
