Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
