So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
