hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
