I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
