Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
