Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
