I was born with a shot glass in my hand
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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