; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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