Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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