I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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