i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
