Why does Corona taste like a burp?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
