I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
