found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I want her autograph on my taint
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
