I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
