K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
