What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
