she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
