yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
