You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
