lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize