Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
