eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
