This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
