You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
