Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im six kinds of drunk right now
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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