After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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