well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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