Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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