he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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