dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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