did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
