apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
