he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
