How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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