There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize