I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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