Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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