yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
