super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize